IVs, Chips, Apologies, Prayers and Grace

Sometimes things are for your good, to protect you, but they still stink.  Such was Evie's bladder surgery this past week.  It will protect her kidney, but it's just yucky and not what a parent's heart wants for their two year old. 

 

Thankfully, though, she IS two.  So, she had the surgery and now she's back at home playing, and finding her new-er normal. 

 

Evelyn is a fighter, and our urologist heaven sent, so we knew she'd be just fine.  We surrendered to the wisdom of a doctor and packed her owl backpack.  We asked for prayer and Team Evie prayed in force. 

 

We checked in early in the morning, on strict no food, no drinks orders.  No idea what was happening, her only concern was wanting her sippy.  Next was some waiting and pre-op dr talks.  

 



 

Soon enough, she was made loopy by some meds.  And oh how she was loopy!  Her little head was bonking walls and she giggled with eyes glazed over. 

 

When it was time to begin, they let us carry her to the operating room doors.  With tears in our eyes, we held her.  We held her for Wednesday and for every other hospital day that we'd missed. 

 

 

A few hours later, they rolled her back in, surgery and test complete and successful.  Our Han HuiZhen woke up crying, chugged a sippy of water, spit up a sippy of water, sucked on her ever present lovey, and then felt fast asleep for a couple hours.

 

 





She snoozed, played, got her vitals checked 156 times, and watched Elmo's World for the rest of the day.   Encouraged to try to get her to eat something, we ordered a menu of hospital cafeteria delicacies that we hoped would tempt her tummy.  Not impressed, Lay's Classics were the only thing crossing over those little pink lips.  

 As is typical with her whispery, barely there veins, the IV machine alarm went off repeatedly, each time with a nurse coming in to readjust and re-tape.  By that night, this momma was tired and apparently grumpiness was just below the serene surface. 

 

I had to do some nursing of my own with her that night, which I had been dreading.  My medical ROCK was back at home making dinner for the rest of the littles.  Nurses were in and out with various bags and supplies being brought in and ripped open, trying to be helpful, but none of which were anything that I was used to.  Concerned about hurting her and calculating our "medical supplies" tab, the emotion started to build. 

 

An hour later, alone with a girl with a wound in my arms, and IV poll dragged across the room, wires twisted and two bags of saline solution all over the floor, the nurse entered and received every ounce of stuffed emotion from the day. 

 

I'm thinking that was no surprise to her, because she calmly mopped up the floor, brought clean blankets, asked what I needed, and repeatedly called me "Mom".  So undeserving of my verbal yuck, she received 23 apologies.   In my mind, I was already planning the family "take a treat to the saintly nurses" service project. 

 

Bedtime came as a release.  I spooned myself up a big spoon of grace, tucked in Evie, laid down on my couch to bed conversion, removed my pillow pancake from its plastic bag and counted some sheep. 

The next day brought more Elmo's World, more Lay's Classics, and more vitals.  By that afternoon, Evie was making some calls trying to get somebody, anybody, to start discharge. 

 

 A thousand thank yous to Aunt Jen for watching the rest of the team for a couple days so Evie could have parents standing by her.

 

Thanks to all of you for praying.  Every single one was felt and appreciated.  Our prayer now is to stay infection free and for long-term healing and miracles.  Believing for it and feeling grateful.  

 

 



Written in Heaven

 E… L …I…

 

His little hands trace wiggly lines over each letter. Almost four, his stubby fingers seem to be holding a pencil for the first time.

 

Written for him, my lines are large and straight, intentional for his learning.

 

His lines merge with mine occasionally, but mostly curve over, around and off. When he finishes, he sets his pencil down. Almond shaped eyes turn toward me, eager for approval. My smile brings his smile.

 

For so long, his name had been written on our hearts. While waiting to bring him home from China, we’d whispered it in prayer, penned it into boxes on a mountain of adoption documents and had it embroidered on shirts. Dang Lan Cheng though, heard it for the first time just two months ago.

 

When he entered the orphanage, part of his given name was a name carried by every child in their care. Dang means “government.” He was one child in an orphanage of three hundred, in a country with hundreds of thousands of orphans. Sadly, this name represents that. Graciously, Cheng means “flourishing and prosperous,” a sweet promise of more to come.

 

One day in November, we arrived in China, hearts anxious to make him a son.

We brought the name Elijah, or Eli, meaning, “My God is Yahweh.” No concept of family, or the love that was to come with his new name, his little hands trembled as we drove him away from all things familiar.

 

Now he carries a portion of his Chinese name, his given name, and our family name, a merging of past and future. Each name a chapter in the story God is writing.

 

Read the rest at over at  Ungrind.

 

You can also find Ungrind on Facebook.

Evelyn Update

This little love has bladder surgery tomorrow.  We trust her urologist completely and trust the Lord more.  This surgery could ultimately save her kidney.  More than anything, we feel completely grateful to stand with her as she is rolled in, and then stand waiting for her in a waiting room.  She's had multiple surgeries before, and thankfully, has had Love Without Boundaries nannies travel with her.  Such an amazing gift! 

 

This time, when she's rolled back in, her mommy and daddy will be ready. 

 

 

I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

Psalm 16:8

A Letter From Us

Dear Mama,

 

We've been home less than two months.  Can you believe it?  Seems like longer. 

 

 

We know we brought a bit of crazy to your ordered, comfortable world.  You and daddy seem tired...frazzled even... and sometimes grumpy.  Maybe we turned your world upside down. Ours is upside down too. 

 

 

This has all been a bit confusing to us.  We were just playing with our buddies in the orphanage that day, when suddenly, you appeared and changed everything.  You sure looked different than the nannies, but we loved all the fun things you had in your bag.  You had tears in your eyes and it seemed like you knew us, but we didn't recognize you.  We didn't know what to think when you carried us away from everything we knew.  You drove us away from our homes and toward all things new.  We were scared and sad too.   Remember that our little hearts are still trying to figure all this out.  Our old life just stopped when you added us to yours.

 

 

You guys are kind though.  The hugs feel good and you take such good care of us.  The best thing?  It hasn't ended yet.  We keep wondering if it will.  This thing called family is something special.  We don't quite get it yet, but it is starting to settle into the deep places of us. 

 

 

This new house is fun.  Everything is soft and cozy.  Tile, bricks and lines of kids sharing the same things is what we are used to.   Here, interesting things seem to be in every drawer and basket.   We like to dump things out and investigate.  We were never allowed to explore before.  There wasn't anything to explore.    Our favorite thing is that when we go places, we always come right back to the same house.  Home is something new.   

 

 

The good news?  We are growing more attached to you.  We just can't stand it when you leave the room.  You'd probably prefer that we not sit on the rug and play during your bath, but we just love the feeling we get when we are with you.  Those little almond eyes you see under the bathroom door?  That'd be us.  There is a deep place within us that wonders if you'll leave us and never come back.    Could that be part of our story more than twice?

We might call everything around us "mama", but in our hearts, we are learning who you are.  You are different from all the ladies who have taken care of us.  Something in us just knows. 

 

 

As you can tell, we require a wee bit of extra grace.  You didn't think it was funny when we stuffed things in the toilet,  dumped toys in the tub and turned on the water, peed on the couch, filled toy dishes with water and played on the carpet, smeared spaghetti sauce in our hair that had already been washed twice, got into the medicine cabinet and ripped pages out of your library book.  There were probably a few more incidents, but let's stop there.  There might be some words that you said that we shouldn't repeat.  And those "child safety" things you just installed?   Probably a real good idea.  Can you keep showing us grace?  We're just checking out our new world.  Deep breaths might be a good idea as well. 

 

 

Keep singing "Jesus Loves Me" into our ears.  It just feels good to hear.   Someday soon we'll learn the words. 

 

 

Just for a passing minute sometimes, do you ever think about life before all this and miss it?  Yea, us too.   Let's not forget though that God's made us some promises and He writes stories with great endings.


Don't worry so much about us learning to talk.  Our ears just need more time taking in all the English.   You sound so different from the nannies. 

 

 

You've got baskets of books everywhere.  We think they might be something special.  The sitting still thing while you read is a bit hard for us, but please don't stop trying.  Your lap feels good, and the cadence of your voice a comfort.  Be patient. 

 

American food is funny, isn't it?   We didn't eat this kind of stuff in China.  Give us time, and please serve lots of rice and noodles.  We'll get used to the rest. 

 

 

When we first came home, you were doing well just to give us all baths and put clothes on us.  You sure have come along way.   You and dad are SO productive now.  It's like you got on a mission to handle it all.  The week's plan on the fridge seems to make you feel good.  That's impressive and all, but instead of an empty dishwasher and a plan, maybe we could just BE together.  When you take the time to hold us, look in our eyes, and react to our smiles and cries, something new stirs in our hearts.   

 

Thanks for the healthy meals and folded clothes in our drawers, but maybe one day we could just eat hot dogs, wear the same clothes two days in a row and dance in the kitchen.  Baba has some great moves.  Sounds like more fun than what you have on your agenda. 

 

 

We get the feeling you'd like for us to sleep a bit better at night.  Sometimes when we cry or come down and stand by your bed, you seem really grumpy.  Remember that we used to sleep in a room with all our friends.  At Heartbridge there were even night nurses who would play with us if we woke up at midnight.  Its kind of scary when we wake up and you aren't in the room.  The good news is that this is a sign that we are attaching to you. 

 

 

And outside?  So cool.  That's new to us too.  Let's go out there more.  We'll try to remember not to walk in the road. 

 

 

You might think that you haven't been a good mom to us, but you are the best mommy we've ever had.  When your head hits the pillow at night, you might run through your failures and regrets, but all we are counting is the ways that you loved us.  Just keep the extra grace coming, for us and yourself too.   It's fun being a party of six. 

 

Love,

Elijah and Evelyn

 

PS: We promise to start sleeping all night, late even, REALLY soon. 

No Script Necessary

 

Our girl LOVES to perform, and now she does so with a big smile from behind a stage.   

 

Of course, when you have three siblings, one must share

 

 
 

 

and then share some more. 

 

 

Fortunately, in a big family, there is also always an audience.   

 

Sha Sha, your family will happily clap at the end of each and every performance as you hone your puppeteering skills.  You have some pretty cute stage hands by your side as well. 

Made in China

Say what you want about the import/export imbalance, but most of our very best Christmas gifts this year were made in China!

Christmas Morning at HOME!

 



Christmas morning at home for the first time was so special, and experiencing with Eli and Evie was the sweetest.  After leaving a note and cookies for Santa the night before, we snuggled up in our new Christmas jammers (Thanks, Papa and Mimi!) to read the Christmas story and The Night Before Christmas.  The girls had a slumber party and certainly giggled over visions of dancing sugarplums!

Santa clearly had lots of fun granting wishes. We thank the kind friends who gave him some hand me down toys to give too!  He even remembered some of Sophia and Claire's baby toys for Evie as well.  He's so good at recycling and keeping it simple!

Evie was first up, so she made a few holiday phone calls.  Maybe sending holiday wishes to her Heartbridge buds?

Soon enough, all the littles raced down the stairs with big smiles.  Wrapping paper flew!  We'd opened grandparent gifts the night before, so Eli and Evie had mastered the art of gift opening.  

 It was so fun to be at home, and the little people soaked up every minute of the love!

 Thanks, Aunt Janie, for the new puppet!

None of us could stop staring at Eli and Evie, just in awe of how their world had changed.  Not because they had gifts under a tree, but because they were just a loved son and daughter on Christmas morning.  Another sign of the Hope that Christmas honors and reminds us of .

Eli cruised around the house on his motorcycle eating the last of Santa's cookie crumbs and checking out every body's new toys.  (Thanks, Ashley!)

Though Santa kept it extra simple this year only buying for little people, he did leave a stocking for Mamaw and Papaw.  Think it was to thank them for watching Claire while we were in China, and for cooking, cleaning and giving up a KY Christmas. 

 

 

Christmas morning 2013 was full, sweet and memory loaded.



 Eli and Evie's smiles and awe were the best of Christmas gifts!

 

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 

Isaiah 9:6

Christmas Eve at HOME!

 Every year we travel to either Kentucky or New York for Christmas, but this year we got to stay home.  Though we had to split up, we attended Christmas Eve services at our home church.  So fun! 

Mark took Sophia and Papaw, and I got to have girl time with Claire! 

 They had hot chocolate, cookies, a snow machine and a fun photo booth!

 

The ever serving Mamaw stayed home to finish up Papaw's prime rib masterpiece of a dinner.  We much prefer going as a package deal, but it was a super fun Christmas Eve!

Holly Jolly Festivities

 What a gift it was to have Eli and Evie experiencing Christmas with us this year after so many years in the waiting end of the journey.  Still sleepy and adjusting to doubling our little people population, plus family visitors and a hospital stay, kept our Christmas lower key than ever.  We skipped parties and tuned down traditions.  The goal was to keep it simple, love on little people, and focus on the huge gifts that we'd been given this Christmas.

 

Yes, Chippy still visited, but he must have had a wild ride of a year too, because he kept things extra simple.  He was all smiles when he learned that there were more kids to enjoy this year, but he mainly just moved around the house.  On Christmas Eve, he surprised us with a candy cane hunt.  We sure do love Chippy, but we're glad that he got a little less focus this year. 

Being at home most of the time, the girls loved all the extra play time. They filled it with nativity reenactments with sheets over their heads and Santa and Rudolph plays with taped on costumes!

 

One sweet night, we mixed up some hot chocolate, hopped in the wagon and went on a neighborhood Christmas lights.  The Es had no clue what was going on, but they were all smiles. 

We didn't even end up having to do much holiday baking because Mamaw kept sending fudge and peanut butter balls, and we got some beautiful sugar cookies from a sweet family member. 

 Of course, Christmas just can't pass for me without baking up something, and these cute little gingerbread friends were the perfect family design fun.   

 The girls begged and begged them, so Mamaw and Papaw came back for Christmas!  They played games, scrubbed our house and cooked some awesome holiday eats!

 Having missed our traditional "Journey Through Bethlehem" outing, we were so thrilled when we literally followed a star to this beautiful outdoor, live nativity.  It was rustic, simple perfection to match our simple Christmas!

Christmas Round One: Papa and Mimi

December was one big, beautiful Christmas celebration.  Our three sets of parents each visited for some holiday fun.  Papa and Mimi came first and we had all kinds of fun hanging at Aunt Jen and Uncle Mike's place together.  Unfortunately, we had just gotten home, so our brain's were pretty much mush.  We got pictures of little people performing, but none of Papa and Mimi!

We are so grateful for their visits and all the love they bring.  Come again soon, please!